Big Ideas, Real Talk, Writer's Life

Being Nice is a Skill

Have you ever worked with someone who made you pay a toll just to answer a question or give their input into a project? I think most of us have our war stories about that insufferable or arrogant colleague. I’ll never forget the guy who wouldn’t taking his turn washing dishes in the break room, explaining to the rest of us, “But I have a PhD!”

The truth is that people who are passive-aggressive, bad-tempered, or just full of themselves can take a surprisingly large toll on a project. Back when I used to interview candidates for my company’s technical writing team, I was known for my questions that tried to elicit the candidate’s temperament along with experience and skills. These days, as a freelance professional, I’m usually on the other side of the fence—and I’m more convinced than ever that being pleasant and sincere is a valuable skill all freelancers should work to cultivate.

Here are three assets that I think define that special something.

  • Thoughtful. In today’s collaborative environment, a cutthroat operator can wreak havoc on a project. Look for someone with an encouraging and supportive mindset. A thoughtful person is respectful from the beginning and a good listener who is focused on solutions and moving the project forward, not directing the spotlight onto themselves.
  • Generous. Even in a hard-charging environment, you’ll want to bring on board people who share (rather than hoard) their ideas and wisdom, and are generous with praise, thank-yous, and recognizing the contributions of the entire team—those “below” as well as “above.” One big red flag: someone who puts conditions on their cooperation.
  • Funny. Don’t get me wrong here. When I was on the hiring team, I steered clear of would-be standup comics and their thinly-veiled aggression. On the other hand, having a good sense of humor is a huge asset. All projects benefit from a person who is positive, light-hearted, curious, and knows how to laugh and smile.

What do you think makes for a nice addition to a work team—someone you actually want to work with on a repeat basis?

Today’s laugh:

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